


Chloe Proof the House

by mantra4ia



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Opposite Day, buckle up Detective, child proof, chloe proof, guardian devil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:58:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8452603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mantra4ia/pseuds/mantra4ia
Summary: This is an imagine one-shot (originally from my Tumblr) of episode 2x05 "Weaponizer." This is how I imagined Lucifer would behave now once under the impression that Dad could reneg. on the deal at anytime, in order to protect Chloe. Comedic overreaction ensues.





	

**At the office:**

_[Lucifer sees Chloe ready to take the stairs, imagines her tumbling down]_

“Detective, let’s take the elevator instead.”

_[Then he imagines them in the elevator plummeting to their deaths]_ “

…On second thought let me just carry you down. You are taking a sick day.”

* * *

**Heading to the car, on the way home:**  

_[imagines Chloe getting run off the road or into a barricade.]_

“Detective, how about I drive this time?”

_[Chloe steps in front of the car and says “over my dead body” which prompts Lucifer to picture accidentally backing into her with the car.]_

“…On second thought, better walk. Fresh air, good for the lungs.”

_[Imagines Chloe in the crosswalk getting hit by a cyclist]_

“Actually, the air in LA isn’t so fresh, and these loafers are meant to be admired, not broken in. Let’s Uber.”

* * *

**At Chloe’s new apartment:**

 “Not bad Detective, I think I might stay for dinner.”

Chloe - “Well, Maze didn’t go shopping today like I asked, I’ll have to pick up some groceries from the corner store.”

_[Lucifer imagines the mini-mart being robbed at gunpoint.]_

“Nonsense, you shouldn’t have to cook on your first night in the new place. Take away’s the thing. Who wants Chinese? On me. Well, on the table really unless you’re into that kind of thing… _[Chloe gives him a withering stare]._ My treat.”

Chloe - _[begrudgingly]_  “I’ll have cashew chicken.” 

_[Lucifer imagines Chloe choking on a cashew and pulls Maze aside.]_

_“_ Nevermind, I’ll whip something up… Mazikeen, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’ll serve you drinks for the rest of time as long as you remain her roommate. Protect Chloe, even from herself.”

Maze - “You want me to babysit the Detective?”

Lucifer - “I just had the strangest sense of déjà vu. It’s quite the realization.”

Maze- “To what, my challenges as your body guard or Chloe’s aggravation as your probation officer?”

Lucifer- “What? No, no. I mean I finally understand Chloe’s near-constant state of dread being a parent to that small human. Detective, I’m sorry I wasn’t sympathetic to your plight before. I didn’t think this was such hard work.”

_[Maze, Trixie, Chloe, and somewhere in the distance Dad roll their eyes]_


End file.
